My Best Business Advice? Don’t Fake Your Orgasms.

Don't fake your orgasms.

That is my number one piece of advice for a healthy relationship. And here's why:

There is no point in pretending something is working when it is not. If you are not honest about what you actually want, your partner has no way to meet those desires. They can't read your mind. They can only respond to your behaviors and what you tell them, and if that isn't true, they will never learn how to actually please you. This is even more confusing when you fake your orgasms, because your partner has no idea what's working and what isn't. It's a recipe for disaster in the bedroom.

Honest Communication in Leadership: Why Clear Is Kind

This tip is also related to my number one piece of advice for business leaders:

Be honest and direct. Clear is kind. Stop telling your team everything is fine when it is not.

If you are always saying everything is okay when it is not, they will never learn what you actually need from them. They keep doing the same things because the information you gave them was not honest.

I coach many C-suite executives who default to "everything is fine" in board meetings, in one-on-ones, in check-ins with their own leadership team.

Why? Because honesty feels risky, and silence feels safer in the moment. But silence has a cost because teams that never hear the truth cannot fix what is actually broken.

How to Stop Faking It: Honest Communication Steps for Leaders

I invite you to start telling the truth with your team. Here's how:

Check yourself first. Before you walk into a hard conversation, get clear on what you actually think and feel. You cannot be honest with someone else if you have not been honest with yourself first.

Then listen, fully. Not half listening while you think of your response. Bring your full attention and full presence. Most people are so busy waiting to talk that they never actually hear what is being said.

Use a 1-10 scale. A scale gives people a way to name the truth without having to fully articulate it, which builds psychological safety fast because it removes the guesswork. It works both directions. Ask your team, 'On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the best, how much do you trust where this project is headed?' And ask yourself the same question. A real answer, even an uncomfortable one, tells you more than a fake 'everything is fine' ever could.

And once you have an answer, ask one more question. What would move this one number higher? You do not need to solve it immediately if it's complex. You simply need a step in the direction of clarity and honesty.

Building Psychological Safety With a Stoplight Check-In

Something many leaders don't know is that none of this works without psychological safety. Your team will only tell you the truth if they believe it is safe to do so, and that safety starts with you.

As the leader, you have to be willing to be vulnerable, honest, and tell the truth before you can expect the same in return.

A simple way to build that safety is a quick stop light check-in before a meeting starts. Ask your team to identify if they are green, yellow, or red. How energized, prepared, and ready is everyone actually walking in the door? It takes thirty seconds, and it tells you more than most status updates ever will.

Executive Coaching for Honest, Emotionally Intelligent Conversations

This is the kind of work a strategic thought partner exists for. Learning to tell the truth with emotional intelligence, without it turning into blame or shutting people down, is a skill most leaders were never taught. An executive coach helps you prepare in a confidential space so that when you walk into the board meeting or that challenging one-on-one conversation, you have already found the words and the courage to say them clearly.

Where The Horizon Meets You: Telling the Truth Builds Trust

Silence does not actually protect your team from the truth. It delays the moment they find out, and it usually costs more when they do. Naming what is real, even when it is uncomfortable, is what lets people actually help you.

The leaders who create real trust and psychological safety are not immune to struggle. However, they are the ones willing to name the truth about what is actually happening, even when it is uncomfortable.

The most important question is whether you are willing to say it first.

If you are ready for that conversation, I invite you to join me for a Connection Call.